I stopped at the store on the way home tonight to buy a bottle of dishwashing liquid. I saw a bottle of green liquid that looked to be a good price, so I grabbed it.
I get home and look at it. And I'm not kidding, this is what it says:
Now, this is the front, and that bothers me enough... but now let's flip it over and read...
Introducing New Dawn Apple Blossom!
Cripes, these people are really excited about this...
Combines the tough grease cleaning of Dawn with a proven antibacterial Ingredient that kills germs on hands when used as a hand soap to give you a whole new level of dishwashing perforance.
Okay, I'll bite, explain to me why the fact that it kills germs as a hand soap should bring me to a whole new level of dishwashing performance? Is it cause now as I'm washing the dishes, I'm also soaking the germs off my hands? And correct me if I'm wrong, but dishwashing soap is kinda harsh on your hands. I certainly don't want to use this in place of a hand soap, which I own, that is also anti-bacterial.
Alas, it gets worse...
Dawn Fresh Escapes allows you to enjoy the fresh scent of apple from the moment you open the bottle until the last dish is cleaned.
Oh, bullspit. If you're washing some smelly plates from smelly food, you are not going to get a fresh apple scent the whole time. After about the sixth dish, the water is going to smell slightly soapy, greasy with the lingering scent of whatever smelly food you were eating. Fresh apple scent my arse. Yeah, it smells okay, but I don't exactly feel like I'm strolling in an orchard when I take a whiff.
Have you heard enough? No, of course not. The good folks that bring you this wonderful product can't let it go with that...
Dawn Fresh Escapes, enjoy the experience!
Honestly, I can't think of anything better than after working a nine hour day at my job, on my feet, shlepping food to people and kissing butt, then to come home, relax, unwind and escape to my own private aromatherapy heaven and wash a bunch of dirty dishes.
My God, they are making this sound almost... sensual. Do they really think we're going to buy it? "Ooooh, thank you Dawn, now washing those dirty dishes is something I look forward to!"
I actually like Dawn... it's a very good dishwashing detergent. But I've lost a lot of respect for them with this stuff.