Darqstar (darqstar) wrote,
Darqstar
darqstar

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Be careful what you wish for

I love vocal cats. One of the reasons why I had to take Jesse in, was because he was so vocal when we met him. Of course, once we bought him in the apartment, the vocalizing almost stopped. I've had people say, "Don't feel bad, that's a sign you're doing everything right!" which, is very flattering, but I miss the noise.

Then, today, he's decided to be very vocal. He's not making an unhappy noise, it's more of a cheerful chirp that seems to say, "Oooh, that's so cool!" Which is adorible at first, but begins to wear on you after a bit.

It went something like this. This morning I wake up and go into the kitchen. Jesse follows. As I open the refrigerator, reaching for the diet pepsi he chirps, "Oooh, that's so cool!"

I drink some diet pepsi with him watching me and chirping, "Oooh, that's so cool! Wow, look, you took another sip, that's so cool!"

I reach for the cat food in the refrigerator and this really gets his attention. "Oooh, you grabbed the little tupperware container with our food in it. That's so cool! Oh, look, now you're opening it, that's so cool!"

Meanwhile, of course, Goten is out in the kitchen making his whiny noises that say, "We're so hungry, feed us!"

And Chrissy is screaming of course, in that raspy squawking noise I call a Squalk, and screaming, "FEED US NOW YOU EVIL WOMAN!"

So, as I'm dancing around with the food in my hand, trying to get to the microwave, it's like I have a corus of shrieking demons in my ears, with one demon who's retarded. "We're so hungry, feed us now! FEED US NOW YOU EVIL WOMAN! and "Oooh, that's so cool!"

You figure out who the retarded one is.

I get the food into the microwave and set the level to 40% power and put it on for just a few seconds. The trick is to warm, not to cook. But, some scents are going out, because the corus is getting stronger. "We are STARVING, Feed us!" "FEED US RIGHT THIS SECOND YOU EVIL WHORE!" and "Oooh, that's so cool!"

If you really want to know what it was like in total cat, imagine it as "Mrrow Mrrrow, Mowwowow!" "Squalk! MARF SQUALK!" and "Chirrup! Chirrup!"

Fortunately, I have to go up to visit my parents today, because mom needs me to move things and Dad and I are working on turning a big pile of scrap wood and carpet into a really nifty cat tree. We work on that most of the day, and get it to the point where I can finish it at home. I just have to pick up some Mighty Strong Glue so I can glue the carpet to the sonotube. On the way home, I stop and pick up some canned food for the cats, because it's on sale and I like to keep a fairly good supply of canned food, for those times when I don't have the time or the resources to feed them raw. I see the store has diet pepsi on sale, so I buy several bottles of that.

As I'm heading home, I figure whatever has been getting to Jesse, to make him chirp like he's got brain damage and he's stuck will be past. This theory seems to bear out as I return home and unload the cat tree bits, then the diet pepsi. I put the cat tree bits and peices on the porch, because I don't have room in the apartment. I bring the soda into the house. Jesse is sleeping on top of the little cupboard I bought for canned food. He wakes up when I come in, but doesn't make a peep, just rolls on his back so I'll notice his Extreme Cuteness, and watches me.

I put the soda in the bags on the floor. I run to the bathroom, because it's a loooong drive from my parents to home and I was drinking a huge glass of lukewarm water the entire way. Yeah, you can do the math. While I'm in the bathroom, Jesse gets down and pops into the bathroom, rubbing against me. Goten and Chrissy come into the kitchen and begin moving about, checking the bowl of crunchies to see if they have a fair amount in them (Fair being bowls full to the very rim. Any less and I'm clearly trying to starve them to death)

I finish in the bathroom, wash my hands, pet the cats, go out and store the canned food. Not a peep out of Jesse, even though he knows I'm putting catfood away. The other two cats are looking a bit peeved. They think that when I bring canned food into the house, I should feed it all to them, right at that moment.

Then, I start putting the pepsi in the refrigerator. The moment the door was opened and I started putting the bottles away, Jesse comes over, sits down and starts chirrping. "Oooh, that's so cool!"

I thought that cat was smart when I took him in off the streets. Maybe he was, but maybe there is something in my apartment that kills the brain cells of cats.
Tags: amusing cat stories, cats, jesse james
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  • 12 comments

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