Darqstar (darqstar) wrote,
Darqstar
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Jesse's Special Day

Jesse had a very special day today. And he wants to tell all of you, alllllll about it. In poetry form.

It's rather long so of course,

I once had a family and there I thought to stay
But I got too big, so they threw me away
Out of the house and onto the street
No comfort, no cuddles, no water, no meat
As it started to rain, I started to wail
To some this might be freedom, to me it was jail
I hated the world for being so mean
I saw two humans and started to scream
They looked at each other, then me, so alone
"Poor kitty," one said, "Do you need a good home?"

They brought me inside to good food and affection
My life was now facing the other direction.
The Other cats they owned weren't very much fun
what did I care, for the couch faced the sun
I settled right in, tried to do nothing harm
Snuggled up to the humans, 'course they fell for my charm
The first week I nibbled and slept all the day
The second week I felt better and started to play
My new humans were talking 'bout me, but I didn't care
One of the cats listened, and warned me beware

I paid her no mind, she was always in a rage
Then the humans left the house and came back with a cage
The other cats hissed at it, keeping away
I walked up and sniffed it, it smelled sort-of okay
I thought it might be a new bed, this snug little box
Then I was tossed inside and they fastened the locks
To a car I was taken, and put gently inside
Off we all went for a very long ride
We drove to a place where animals barked
"Don't stop!" I begged, but they ignored me and parked

Inside we went, my carrier parked on the floor
I could smell chemicals, bleach, other cats by the score
Soon I was lifted, brought into a room
Dragged out of the cage, not a moment too soon
I thought to escape from under their thumb
But a man grabbed me soundly, shoved a stick up my bum
I tried to stop him, I begged and wheedled
But he put things on my chest and jabbed me with needles
He smiled at my humans and with a voice so bright
Said, "he's really quite healthy, we'll do it tonight."

They took me away to a cold, empty cage
And threw me inside, ignoring my rage
When I finally calmed down, I could hear a loud purr
A lovely cat was next door and my loins began to stir
I knew right then, as soon as I could get free
I'd check that girl out, my first conquest she'd be
I decided to wait, let the humans think they had won
Made soft flirting cries, this was almost good fun
Then the door opened and my escape plans did flee
as they grabbed on so quickly and stuck a needle in me

The next thing I knew my head felt so creepy
I tried to keep my eyes open, but I just was too sleepy
I fell into deep slumber, my thoughts were no more
But a few hours later, I awoke feeling sore
I was in the same cage, my vision was blurring
In the next cage that damned female cat was still purring
I tried to remember why I wanted her so
Now I just hoped she would shut up and go
Though my feet were quite wobbly, I decided to groom
Noticed between the back legs I now had extra room

For a moment I was stunned, this didn't seem fair
The slowly I realized, I just didn't care
I flopped to the ground, curled up in a ball
Let out a sigh, back to sleep I did fall
But soon I went home, this time to stay
And eventually the bad memory faded away
I felt so much calmer, less nervous you see
Cats in heat outside howling, now never bother me
But beware, all you kittens, for this is really no joke
Those humans will fix you, even if you're not broke.



Note from human owner Jesse is doing fine. He caused a major sensation in the vets office, where everyone was cooing over what a beautiful cat he is.
Tags: cats, jesse james
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