But, that isn't the most startling thing.
Let me begin by saying that I haven't owned many kittens. Usually I go right for cats. I'm a rare soul that likes cats more than kittens, so I seem to end up taking in more adult cats, than I do kittens.
I also need to explain that New York, even though she's relatively large, is a kitten. A lot younger than I thought she was.
So, my husband, who grew up with more kittens, told me, "She's a female," and I believed him. She sure looked delicate and dainty, like a little girl. I wondered about a couple things, but hey, maybe that was just... you know...
Well, this morning, as I'm sitting, eating a bowl of cornflakes, "New York" strolled by, doing what "she" likes to do best, which is stick her butt in my face.
I look again.
Todd comes home. "Guess what, hon!" I call out.
"What?" he asks, some caution in his voice. I can't hardly blame him. When I'm calling out cheerfully in the morning, "Guess what!" it usually ads up to, "You screwed up in some way and I'm going to lord it over your head for the rest of the day, week, or perhaps month, if it's really good."
I say, "Your little New York has a package."
He shakes his head, "Huh? Someone sent her something?"
"Yeah, God sent her something. A freakin' sex change. Darling, New York is a guy."
He picks up the cat, looks. Looks at me. Looks back at the cat. Looks at me. "H-how could I miss those?"
"They've grown remarkably large in the past week."
"Oh great," He groans, sitting down on the chair near me. "So, what do we do about the name?"
"We could just pretend we never noticed her...package." I suggest. "I mean, once we fix him...er, I mean her, I mean Whatever, it won't matter much anyway."
"I just don't feel right about that."
"Well, we could call him Brett, after Brett Micheals. He's proving to be a little drama queen camera whore for VH-1."
"We could...but I just don't find he has the unique uhm, 'charm' that New York has."
After sulking about a bit, feeling a tad cranky because this cat that suggested a perfect name for itself, turns out to be the wrong sex, we gave some thought to people we felt were a lot like the cat.
"Not as noisy as before," I remind him. "But, he is self confident to a fault. He took over this place, he's trying his best to be the boss of the other cats, despite the fact that Goten and Chrissy are a fair bit larger. So, he's got ego to spare, self confidence, and he's a bit of a rebel."
"Why a rebel?"
"Because you told me we wern't allowed to get another cat. I even agreed with that. We made it the law of the house, Two cats and two cats alone! yet he managed to get the rules broken, yet we still love him. He's a bit of an outlaw."
Todd nods, "Jesse James."
I think for a moment, then nod back. "Yeah, that'll work." Yes, if you study history, you'll find out Jesse James was a complete and utter prick for the most part, but, he did have a charisma that got a lot of people to side with him, despite his jerky ways. And the man handed the conductor on a train he was robbing, his own press release about the robery. That is the sort of self confidence our cat has.
So, he's now Jesse. And, it fits.
But really, I'm gonna miss the New York cat. Every time we told anyone that's what we called her, they would giggle like crazy, providing they knew who the real New York was.
Alas, New York, you will be missed. Welcome to the house, Jesse.