I've been watching Flavor of Love on VH-1
I feel embarassed for admitting this, but the show is like a weird drug that I find myself drawn to. For an hour a week, I watch this train wreak of a show and snort, shake my head, or laugh my ass off as all these women get catty and bitchy on each other, all for the privilege of being chosen by some guy who if he wasn't in a known musical group, these samesaid girls wouldn't give him the time of day.
He's ugly and his behavior is weird. The weird behavior, I rather like, probably because I've lived most of my life being thought of as weird, it's nice to see someone else getting away with it. I think another part of the reason I like it is because it's all these beautiful women going apeshit over a weird, ugly guy. The only thing that would make it more fun would be if it was a weird, ugly, girl and all these hot studs went whackocrackers trying to date her. That would rock my socks off. But, that will never be, because let's face it, ugly women don't have much of a chance of making it in the music industry.
Still, all the girls on the show remind me of those girls in Highschool who thought they were the end-all, be-all. It's just awesome to see them all getting their bitch on over this guy. Yes, chances are they're all just faking it so they'll be "discovered" and become big stars, but I think a lot of them actually get caught up in the moment and start thinking this man is just... the bomb!
Why am I confessing this? Because I'm sick and I've been running a fever and sleeping on and off today, and while sleeping, I had this dream that I was on that stupid show and he sent me and three other girls on this scavenger hunt. To be fair, I was like this super secret plant to the show, to make the veiwers wonder why I kept getting picked while others who were nicer and prettier didn't. My job was to be a bitch who said nasty things about him behind his back and did everything he didn't like, like tell him, "No way would I ever have kids with someone like you. If I'm chosen, you're getting fixed like a goddamned dog!"
But, we had this scavenger hunt, the reasoning being that old Flave wanted a woman who was resourceful. So, our "team" gets our list and the three other girls (One of whom is called "Buckwild" but should have been nicknames "Wannabe." If you watch the show, you know exactly what I mean. ) are freaking out and going, "We can't do this, we can't do this."
So I grab the list and see that the items are things like:
1: A red, high heel shoeSo I'm going, "Gee, uh, you could just look in your own closets and find this stuff."
2: A bottle of perfume
3: A pair of thong panties.
To which Buckwild goes, "But I have a pair of red high heeled shoes, but the list don't say a pair, it just says one!"
I then found out that she's my neighbor in drag. And I woke up in a cold sweat.