Darqstar (darqstar) wrote,

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Dear Internet, you suck.

Disclaimer This does not apply to anyone on my friends list. If it did apply to you, you wouldn't be on my friends list. </font>

Second Disclaimer I am in a good mood right now. If I wasn't, I wouldn't write this, because I know I would get all emotional. How my mood remains by the end of this is anyone's guess, but when I started this, I was in a good mood

Let's begin...

It's real easy, when you're on the internet, to feel your balls grow. Even if you're a female and don't have physical balls, you have mental balls. Everyone has them and everyone needs the chance to wave them around once in awhile. It used to be that you waved them around when you were really pissed off or if you were drunk, or when you were relating stories to your friends. ("So, I told that cop, if you think you're writing me a ticket, you've got another thing coming!")

Then along came the internet. Which gave us the chance to link up with people half way across the world. And at first it was interesting. "Wow, you live in the UK? That is so cool! What's it like?"

But then, it stopped being like a phone call to random strangers, who were actually interested in listening to other random strangers, and became more like, "Wow, these are notpeople pretending to be people." Yes, that's right. Oh, you tell yourself they're people. Somewhere in the dark recesses of your mind, you know they're people, but really, they're just little bits of letters and data. They aren't real to you anymore.

What a perfect oportunity to whip out those balls of yours and give them a workout!

There was a time when every time I came across some egotistic, trolling, idiotic buffon, I thought to myself, Ah yes, it's a twelve year old boy with zits and no social life exersizing his ball waving privileges, cause every day he probably gets the shit kicked out of him at school. Isn't that sweet? And then, depending on my mood, I either ignored him or I told him what I thought, cause what's the point of flapping those balls of yours and watching them swell when no one will get upset about it? Kinda ruins the fun right?

Well, I know for awhile 12 year old boys with something to prove in the old testical department were the majority of internet users, but not anymore. I mean, your grandmother probably has an email account.

Yet, the number of folks who act like 12 year old boys is on the rise. Yes, I assume some of these testical waving morons are really 12 year old boys, but I also know that a lot of them are fully grown adults ball wavers. And all I can think is that wow, the world must be getting pretty stressful, cause a lot of the internet has turned into a Jr. High schoolyard, with everyone fighting to be the bully.

You can't say anything without being challenged. Yes, I understand there will always be a difference of opinion. If I say, "Olives suck, I hate them!" Fifty people will vehemently defend that olives rock. That I obviously have underdeveloped taste buds, for not appreciating such a fine food as olives. (Yes, I do think olives suck, BTW...) But, let's look at this as real life vs. the internet.

I announce to my coworkers, or another group of people that "I hate olives. They are the worst food known to mankind!"
Person one: What? How can you not like olives?

Person two: They are a bit bitter.

Person three: Olives are an aquired taste... I guess you never aquired a taste for olives.

Person four: Good. Then there are more olives in the world for me.

Person five: My favorite dish is a bowl of black olives with minced up green olives! I can eat it every day. You're crazy for not liking olives!"
Now, let's say I announce this on the net... "I hate olives. They're the worst food known to mankind."
Person One: Who the fuck are you to hate olives? OLIVES ROCK!

Person two: Thank you for finally saying what I've been too afraid to say for years. Yes, I admit it, I hate olives! I am so sick to death of olives that the last time I went to a party, someone brought olives into the room and I fainted from just the mere sight of them. Darqstar, you are a GODDESS! You have finally said what sooo many others are frightened to say! *BIG MASSIVE OLIVE HATING HUGS!*

Person three: Well, what can I possibly expect, coming from such an uneducated, illiterate twit as you. Do you realize that all over third world nations, there are people that will just die of horrible disesese because selfish Americans like you refuse to like olives? In fact, Dr. Gotabonetopick, who is a PHD, recently did a study about how you olive hating war mongers are going to bring about world chaos. In this article, he clearly pointed out a corolation between people who don't like olives, masturbation, and the murder of innocent children. And since he published this on the internet, we know therefore it's true. Here's the link: http://www.terrorinthe21stcentury.com/drgotobonetopic/olives.html I strongly suggest you read it before you dare to post your opinions on olives again. And, just so you know? HITLER HATED OLIVES TOO!

Person four: While I'm trying really hard to respect your wishes and rights, I must say that I'm a bit shocked that you'd actually admit you hatred for olives. On the one hand, I'm thrilled that your hatred of olives might mean that the next time I go to the pizza parlor, they will indeed have olives for my pizza, because you didn't order any before me, however, on the other hand, I fear that if your attitude spreads, we shall no longer have olives. Perhaps it would be better if you would learn not to be so open with your hatred of olives. It's okay to dislike something, but to admit hate, is leaving yourself open for ridicule. Not to mention that olives are high in nutrience. Please, do some research into olives before you announce that you hate them. Olives are not the enemy, hate is the enemy.

Person Five: I shove olives up my ass and shit them at people like you.
See what I'm saying? When you're face to face with someone, you generally try to be a bit more polite. Why? Cause then you know it's a person. But with the internet, you never see the tears, you never see the hurt. Oh sure, if you blast someone they may respond with angry words. They may even type in all caps, but you don't see the pain, the hurt, the tears.

And yeah, I've lost count of the number of people who've told me, "No, I really am this ballsy IRL. I tell everyone exactly how it is and if they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves."

Some folks, I'm sure it's true. But everyone? No, I don't think so. I think offline a lot of ballwavers are reasonable human beings that may not always agree with what's said, but understand that in most cases, it's live an let live.

I find it amazing that I can talk with people I work with about some pretty delicate things... death penalty for example, and while their opinions may differ greatly from mine, we don't scream at each other. We don't tell each other "U SUX!" we express our viewpoints, discuss them, and actually enjoy a spirited debate.

Yet, on the internet, you can be talking about something relatively trivial, like fanfiction, and it can turn into this tremendously huge deal. ("What do you MEAN you think Cable and Storm would make a good couple? Can you Pulease take your head out of your ass for ten seconds! Oh god, you still feel this way? I'm never talking to you again!")

We have people on the internet who think it's their job to rain on your parade any way they see fit. We have grammar cops that feel it's their job to correct people's spelling and get quite nasty about it, even if it's a private journal or webpage. Yes, I know, it is on the net, but you know what? No one asked you to go there. If someone wants to create a shitty webpage, full of misspellings, 133t speak, and lots of shiny glitzy things that offend your sensibilites to go there, then here's a clue... don't go there. If someone writes a slash story involving Dr. Who and Gambit doing the nasty, while Jean-Luc Piccard and Vegeta film it, and Ginny Weasley dances around the room in a rubber thong, and that offends you, don't read it.

Of course, it's an entirely different story if you're pestered to read it. "Please read my story!" or, "Please visit my website and tell me what you think!" Then you're being asked to give an opinion and by god, you then have the right to tell them exactly what you think.

But even then... try to picture if this person was standing right in front of you? Let's use the stupid web page example. Let's say someone comes to your house and says, "Please look at my webpage!" and you do, and it's the most godawful thing you ever saw. Would you really rip into them and tear them a new one for misspelling every other word? Or would you try to break it to them gently. "I'm sorry, I know it's your page and you have the right to make it the way you want, but the way it's spelled and laid out, I can't even read it."

It's like we get on the internet and we look for shit to bug us. And, when we find it, then we feel we have the right to smack someone around for bugging us, when we were looking for it in the first place.

I don't like slash, I don't like Yaio, and I really get annoyed when someone decides that Vegeta and Goku must do the nasty, cause the show never made any indication that either of them are bisexual. Yet, I can find a billion fanfics that have Goku and Vegeta doing the sweaty monkey love thing. And yeah, I may gripe about it. "God, no warning no nothing... I'm reading two pages and suddenly bam! Goku puts on a dress and rapes Vegeta!" but I'm not going to fire off a letter to the author, "How dare you write this? Where the hell do you get off?" Why? Because it was my option to read it. Yes, I might write and suggest they warn people, but even then I'll be somewhat decent about it. But, if they warned me and I hated it, then I blame myself. I knew what I was getting into, yet I read it anyway. It's my fault.

Yeah, I know, who am I to ruin all the fun for the ball wavers who need the internet to make those puppies swell? Well, I'm just another person who uses is. And, a person who's been damned lucky not to get attacked as much as I could have. But I have seen a lot of folks attacked ruthlessly over stupid stuff that it's pretty clear the attacker was going out of their way to find stuff that would annoy them, just so they could wave their balls around. And I'm still of the opinion that most of you wouldn't do it if the person you were insulting was sitting right in front of you.

Just because no one can see you, doesn't mean they aren't affected by what you say.

And if you are one of these people who use the internet as a big excuse to be a bully? Grow up. Really. Whatever your pet peeves are, you can find something on the net to cater to your tastes. For every webpage, journal, fanfiction story that seems to have been written by a hyperactive five year old who's drinking jolt cola and injecting Kayro syrup into their viens, you can find another webpage, journal, fanfiction story written by someone who's just as anal retentive as you are. Read those instead. Do you really think if you scream and yell you'll make the entire internet exactly the way you want? If so, you've got your head further up your ass than the person you're complaining about. No, admit it, you're just doing it, because you like the thrill of exersizing your big old cyberballs. And what good is that?

Grow up. There are no faceless robots on the internet chatting with you, writing fanfiction, making webpages, and creating journals. They're all people. Treat them as such. You don't have to love them, you don't even have to like them. Just remember they're human beings, just like you. Treat them like you want to be treated.

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