Darqstar (darqstar) wrote,
Darqstar
darqstar

  • Mood:

There is nothing on my shoes.

When I came home from work today, I cleaned up my shoes. I sprayed them down with windex and wiped ever single inch of them, until they were squeeky clean. Then, I put shoe white on them. I sprayed the inside with lysol, then foot spray, then fabreeze. I put new inserts in the soles. I put new laces in the holes. My shoes look brand new. There is nothing on my shoes but the shoe whitener. Any traces of food from work is gone. Totally gone. Completely gone. In fact, you could never tell by looking at these sneakers that they are a year old, that's how clean I got them. I even scrubbed the bottoms and picked out all the little crap that got into the treds.

So, why the hell is Goten making mad violent love to them? Why is he attempting to lick them, chew them, roll on them and if I didn't know he was fixed, have unprotected sex with them? What could be so fascinating about a pair of extremly clean sneakers? Why have they become the object of his total lust? I've tried looking at them through squinted eyes, but no matter how much I squint, they don't resemble a female cat, they resemble a pair of extremely clean sneakers.

And I put them in the closet, and the little shit managed to open the door, drag them both out, and continue his little orgie of rolling around on them, bitting them, sniffing them, nuzzling his face in them, like some wanton slutcat of desire. "Oh, Ma Chere, you are so wonderful... come wiz me to the Cazbaah where I will make beootyful looove to you, all night long, under zee stars! Oh, you are my one and only... except for maybe your twin sizter... who looks loovely too.."

So, I look at Chrissy and say, "What's with your brother?"

She gives me a look that clearly tells me that she had no choice with his coming to the house, and therefore will neither be responsible, or attempt to offer me any inkling as to his weird behaivor. Then she stormed off into the kitchen and ate almost the entire bowl of crunchies. I think she's stress eating to protest being forced to live with such a perverted dork as Goten.

I have now place the sneakers in a plastic box, sealed the box shut, and put them on the top shelf of the closet. The little shit has managed to open the door again, and is now sitting on the floor, looking up and crying like a pissed off, thwarted lover.

My poor sneakers... I feel like they've been raped.
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  • 119 comments

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