July 31st, 2003

huh? or thoughtful

Messed up dream.

I'm on anitboitics for my knee, which have a habbit of knocking me out. They also have a habbit of making some very sensitive areas of my body itch like crazy, so I'm a lot of fun to be around lately, but we won't get into that right now.

But, I haven't been falling asleep as much as I've been passing out at night. And, when I come home from work, and before I go to work. I just zonk out sometimes. At night it's for 6-10 hours, if it's durring the day it's like an hour or so.

I always wake up knowing I had crazy dreams, but I can't remember them, or they come to me in bits and peices.

Last night's dream was the one I could recolect the most of, and it's weird. Todd is in it, which is good, cause lately, he hasn't been in my dreams. We're living in this huge redbrick apartment complex, but amazingly, our apartment looks an awful lot like my old dorm room. Hundreds of people live in this building, including one guy who has five collie puppies, that are about the cutest things I've ever seen and very friendly. The man and his collies are irrellivent though, I just remember them in the dream and patting the puppies and playing with them as he passed to go into his place.

The main focus in this dream was that apparently, there is some guy who is much beloved and admired by the world at large. I don't know who he is, but he's very important and very beloved. I don't know what he's done to earn this position. In the dream though, he's someone everyone knows, everyone's heard of. He might be a leader, he might be the male equivilent of Mother Therisa. In the dream I know exactly who he is and what he's done, but when I woke up, I couldn't remember, because what he was known for is never mentioned. But it's like everyone loves this guy, many people hang onto what he says like he's god, and even folks who aren't in his camp, at least like the guy. Whoever this guy is, he's a great guy.

The guy himself is never seen in the dreams.

The main focus of the dream seems that everyone in the building and in fact, in the world, is deeply depressed, because this guy said something in an interview and what he said is now making people question if he really is all he said he is. Maybe he's been lying, maybe he isn't Mr. Terrific after all.

What did he say? Well, whoever was interviewing him, asked him about something he'd done, how he came up with some idea, and he said, "Well, right after I got out of school, I worked for the railroad for awhile."

And now everyone is in shock because he worked for the railroad. I mean, people are going, "My god, I believed in him, but now we found out he worked for the railroads? How can we ever trust him?"

Weird note... even though this dream is taking place at the current time, and this guy is probably my age, when he says he used to work for the railroad, we know when he worked for the railroads, it was like Union Pacific, in the days when railroads were the only way to get anywhere across this country. We know if he'd stayed at his job at the railroads, he probably would have run into some of the great outlaws of yesteryear.. blah blah blah. Yes, apparently, time worked very strange in my dream world and we went right from the days of the Old West to the new milenum. Yeah, weird, huh?

But even though I'm in this dream and I'm apparently a functioning member of the society in this dream, same with Todd, both of us are still going, "What the hell?" Over the reaction to the fact that this guy worked for the railroads. We don't see the big deal. It was just a job the guy had after school and it wasn't even a bad job. He wasn't doing anything illegal or immoral. It wasn't that the railroads were considered "bad things" in my dreams, at least not that I'd ever been made aware of. As far as I know, Amtrak still exists, trains still exist, so it's not that in the dream, trains suddenly became evil.

Just this man, because he worked on the railroads way back in his past, is now branded.

People are crying in this dream. They're huddled outside or inside their places, looking miserable, cheated, stomped upon, like someone has just pulled the rug out from under them. All because this guy told someone in an interview he used to work for the railroads.

I think what bothers me is that even in my dreams, there's something going on that I just don't get. I feel that way a lot in real life. People will start flying off the handle about something, and I don't see what the big deal is.

And even though I know it was just a dream, there is still part of my mind trying to come up with what it was that made working for the railroad such a terrible thing.
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