Darqstar (darqstar) wrote,
Darqstar
darqstar

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Christmas

Hi, remember me? Yeah, I've been around. But I don't think I've ever gone this long without making at least some type of update in my journal.

Mostly, per usual, I've been busy with the game . Which is actually going pretty well. Yeah, it's kinda become angst street, but I'm trying to put an end on that. I think after the holidays are over, I'm going to let everyone know that we're not going to come up with angsty plots for a bit, and in fact, we're going to not come up with "private plots" (Plots that only concern a few players at most) at all for a bit, cause I want some serious time to come up with another "Butt kickin'" plot that anyone in the game can get involved in if they want, where we knock out some bad things and when we're done, we all can party about it. While angst is fun, I think the game is in dire need of a good free-for-all plot where we can destroy something or someone and feel good about it. Anyway, some of you will know what I mean, some of you are probably about ready to fall asleep.

While that's the main reason, it's not the biggest reason why I haven't updated. I originally had this plan, which was to disappear until after Christmas then come back and just go on. But then it hit me that was kinda stupid. But the truth is I'm walking a fine line.

Todd and I are doing fine, the cats are doing fine. But, I still haven't found a job yet, and seriously it's because I haven't really killed myself looking. I need to find a job that I can either walk to, or that I don't have to start until after 10:00 and I can be home by 8:00 at the latest, because of car troubles, or it has to be something I can walk to. In the meantime though, Todd and I are surviving. The bills are getting paid, we don't have to scrape nickles together to rent a movie, I cook more at home, but that's okay too.

But it does mean that Christmas is a bit of a touchy issue with me. We've gone over the budget and covered my family and his. This year his brother and his wife are coming out to visit (Which we're thrilled with cause we love them.) but that adds two more to the list, cause usually we just don't bother getting gifts for each other, we call on Christmas and leave it at that. But I'm not going to let them visit without doing something for them, that just seems wrong!

So, our budget is stressed and we both just realized that the extras I do for friends and stuff I have to cut out this year. And it's... embarassing. I know there were people I got stuff for last year and if anything, I have more people I'd love to get stuff for this year, but I just can't do it, not without taking a budget that's working and throwing it in the crapper.

So, my first thought was, I'll just hide until after Christmas, everyone will forget about me and then everything is cool, cause I won't have to explain this and risk sounding like we're crying poverty, when we're really not But now I'm realizing that's just wrong. I owe it to folks on my friends list to explain to them. I'm not snubbing anyone. I still care about everyone (Despite my lack of updates even normally... bletch, why does my fantasy life have to be so much more interesting than my real one?) I just can't show it by buying presents for some of you.

Well, hopefully next year I'll find the perfect job for me, and then I can maybe do something nice for people in like July when it would be really neat.

Okay, that's all I have to say. I'm going back to hiding in the corner again...
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  • 25 comments

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