I took Jesse for a walk tonight, because he was being a complete and utter pain in the ass about it. Whining and whining, so on and so forth.
So, get the harness, get the leash. No problem, get the harness on. Check the straps. I figure they're about as tight as I can get them without causing discomfort. HA! I am crazy, and soon I will discover just how crazy I am.
Jesse and I go outside. We start our walk. Down the street, a little ways down the furniture store parking lot. Then, suddenly Jesse freaked out. I mean, completely freaked out. "Okay, Jesse, it's okay, let's go home!" I try to get close, so I can scoop him up.
He manages to wriggle out of the harness and takes off like a bat out of hell. He's running towards the apartment building. I don't want to frighten him, figuring he's heading home, so I head home.
Just as I get there, I see Jesse chase another cat from the driveway. The cat streaks across the street, Jesse hisses, but stays in the driveway. I go to the door, open it, and wait, hoping he'll go inside. But nope, he's over by the car.
I head over, now he goes under the car. I go in the house and get Todd. Todd comes out, first with the plastic food container, which usually has him running. Not tonight. Then, he grabs his favorite cat toy and shakes that near him. He watches, but it's more of a, "Dad, I'm scared shitless, I have no clue what is going on, so you're waving something in my face. Way to calm me down, asshole."
So, Todd lays down, and pushes the toy under the car. Holding on to it, he moves it, coaxing Jesse to the end of the car, where I am. "Catch him!"
Yeah, he might as well have asked me to catch a greased pig. Jesse tears off like a flash. At first it looks as if he's going to head behind the houses and all such across the street. If that happens, it won't be very good, because all sorts of wild critters live behind there, along with a lot of assorted junk. It's also very dark and our flashlight is broken. Oh, ironically? It broke because Jesse decided to leap on the shelves under the hook where we stored it, and knock it on the floor. So, I have to try to do this in the pitch darkness. By this point, the tears are coming and I'm silently praying that he won't go down there.
Whether it's fear or prayer, I may never know, but Jesse decides not to go forth into the darkness and danger. Instead he runs back to the house. I follow. He looks like he's heading towards the door, so I stop and start walking slowly. He veers away and goes under the car.
We play the car game again. He shoots out and runs off, but this time, he goes to the ledge in front of the house and lays down. He's panting too, and I'm really really really worried about him. It's hot and humid and I was afraid we were overheating him.
Goten is lying in the window looking outside, and meowing loudly, no doubt saying, "RUN, JESSE! BE FREE! DON'T LET THEM ENSLAVE YOU AGAIN!" between bouts of kitty sniggering. I'm sure he's dreaming of a Jesse free life, where the kibble will flow freely and he'll be able to pick on Chrissy all he wants, without having to worry that Jesse will pick on him. "GO, JESSE!" His yowling takes on an almost musical quality to it, and I would almost swear it sounded like the tune to "Born Free."
I get close, but even though I'm being very slow, very steady, or maybe Goten's singing was just too much, because Jesse tears off again, but this time, heads into the driveway, and onto the porch. Todd yells, "HE'S ON THE PORCH!" I go running. As quick as he can, Todd swings the doorstop over, and shuts the door. The hurrying wasn't necessary though, Jesse has run into the hall, and is standing by the door screaming at the top of his lungs, and I'm not sure if he's cursing me out for having the nerve to drag him outside, when clearly, he's never wanted to go (because he's probably forgotten all the begging and screaming he does every night, and the dragging the leash up to me and dropping it at my feet) or if he's screaming, "NEVER AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN! AND AS SOON AS I GET INSIDE I'M GOING TO KILL AND EAT GOTEN, IF HE DOESN'T SHUT UP!"
We open the door, Jesse runs inside, tears through the place, going to the cat tree I made, and hiding in the little carpet covered tube on the bottom.
He's okay now, and walking around like he once again, owns the place. However, he is not standing by the door, whining to go outside.
I have no clue what I'm going to do in the future. I'm going to have to tighten the harness, but I'm afraid that if I tighten it much more, he'll be uncomfortable.
Between Goten trying to kill me, and Jesse attempting to scare the hell out of me, I have to wonder if cats are good for my health or not.