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By the time this ends

Two (very) Short stories. (one Yugi-Oh, one DBZ)

Yes, these are little more than dribbles and I have no clue where they came from, I just know I wanted to write them. They're pretty rough, but eh, they're short and I did them just for fun. I don't own the characters, but I do own the stories, blah blah, let's get on with it.




Yugi-Oh and all such don't belong to me. Nope, they don't. Never will either.

No Egrets

Yugi was in shock as he watched Joey walk away from the duel, whistling. His friend had just beaten Seto in a grueling match, despite all odds. Yugi knew Joey was a better duelist than others often gave him credit for, but in this case, his winning was nothing short of a miracle. Seto had seized the advantage right from the beginning of the duel and had been brutal, never giving Joey a chance to attack, destroying every single monster he brought forth, not giving him a chance to do any damage, while ripping away huge amounts of Joey's lifepoints with every turn.

Even though Yugi believed in his friend, in this case, it really had seemed hopeless. When Joey's life points were down to 50, his hand only containing one card, while Seto still had all his life points, five monsters on the field, one of them being a blue eyes ultimate dragon, and had several traps all lined up and waiting, even Yami was saying it was hopeless.

But Joey had managed to do it, thanks to a monster card even Yami hadn't remembered, a card that no one even knew was in Joey's deck. Yugi wasn't even sure how it worked, but the moment Seto had attacked the monster in defense mode, the card was flipped, and this enormous white bird came soaring out, and with one attack, killed every single one of Seto's monsters, destroyed every one of his traps, sent every one of his cards to the graveyard, and destroyed all his life points. The tide had turned and the game was over in an instant.

The entire group, Tea, Tristain, Duke, Mia, and Yugi rushed to congratulate their friend, patting him on the back, telling him that all along they knew he'd do it. Joey, for his part, accepted the praise rather gracefully, which surprised Yugi. Seto had lorded it over Joey so many times before, claiming he was a total amateur, beating him every time they dueled, it seemed to be Joey's right to brag.

"That's a pretty amazing card," Yugi said, when some of the congatulations had died down, allowing for conversations. "I've never seen it before."

"Yeah, it's a pretty good card," Joey admitted. "I don't even know where I got it, It was just in my deck."

"How does it work?" Tristain asked.

"It's a great card, but it only works under very special circumstances." Joey started flicking through his deck, trying to find it. "It's the Egret of Regret. Shoot, I can't find it! It's gotta be here somewhere..."

"What special circumstances?" Yugi asked.

"Well, it's a pretty weak monster normally, only a 100 defense and a 200 attack. But, it's a flip effect card." Joey stopped looking for the card so he could easier explain. "If it's the only card the person has out, and the person using it has less than 100 lifepoints, while the oponant hasn't lost any of his, and has at least 3 monsters in attack mode that have over 2000 attack points each, then the Egret of Regret, once flipped, completely destroys the opponant."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Yugi was happy for his friend, it was about time he got the better of Seto.

"Yup," Joey nodded. "I was finally able to beat Seto, simply by flipping the bird."

End.





I don't own anyone from DBZ either. I used to own Goku and Vegeta, but feeding them was a pain in the butt, so I had to sell them at a garage sale.


Vegeta's Problem.

Bulma looked up as the door from the OR opened and the doctor came out. Rising, she headed over, as the doctor was coming to her. "Is he all right?" she asked, trying desperatly not to break down. Lately Vegeta had been complaining about stomach aches and intestinal problems, but since Vegeta always needed to find something to complain about, Bulma had ignored it, or given him Pepto Bismal. She should have paid more attention, because this morning, while eating breakfast, Vegeta had turned pale, thrown up a huge amount of blood, and passed out cold, his face falling into a bowl of Cream of Wheat.

They had called an ambulance, that rushed Vegeta to the hospital, where a doctor determined he needed immediete surgery. That was twelve hours ago. Finally, Bulma could find out what was wrong.

"He's going to be fine, Mrs. Briefs," the doctor said. "A few days of rest and he'll be up and around as if this never happened."

"Thank god!" Bulma almost wept in gratitude. Yeah, Vegeta was a pain in the butt most of the time, cranky, irritable, and full of himself, but he was still her man and she loved him. Tears of relief began to fall down her face, until she saw the doctor wasn't smiling. "You're not telling me everything, are you?"

The doctor sighed. "Please, have a seat."

Bulma sat down, that feeling of fear beginning to rip through her stomach again. "Doctor, shoot me straight, what happened to him?"

The doctor bit his lip, wondering where to begin. "Well, he was suffering from a great deal of internal bleeding, so we wanted to see what was causing it."

"And I assume you found out?" Bulma asked.

"Er, yes we did. And, uh, you're probably not going to believe this, but... well, has your husband spent a lot of time in space?"

Bulma nodded. Oh, you don't know the half of it, she thought.

"I thought so." The doctor scratched his head. "We, uh, found a parasite inside of him, one that certainly isn't indigenous to this planet."

"A parasite?" Bulma's head tipped to one side. "Doctor, I know you're trying to be nice, but I'm a strong woman. As long as I know Vegeta will be all right, I can take anything, so just tell me."

The doctor sighed. "All right. Well, when we opened your husband up, we found a giagantic creature that looked rather like an arachnid, attached to his brain stem. We believe the creature was living off of various brain secretions."

Bulma stared at the doctor, wondering if he'd been hitting the medicine cabinet a bit more than he ought to be. "A giant spider was living off my husband's brain?" she asked.

"Well, something like that," The doctor said. "But it wasn't actually eating your husband's brain, it was just...feeding off of the secretions."

"What damage has this creature caused?" Bulma asked, having visions of Vegeta being turned into a drooling idiot. While it might be a fast way to end his ongoing fued with Goku, chances are it wouldn't improve his abilities in the sack and Bulma would rather avoid that.

"Not as much as you might think," the doctor assured her. "His intelligence is still intact. His entire brain is intact. The creature was feeding off his brain, it had no desire to kill him and destroy its food source. The reason for the bleeding and his other problems were that the creature was inadvertantly affecting the areas of the brain that control digestion and the workings of the intestins. But... well, the creature did have the ability to control parts of the brain thus creating secretions needed for survival. The manipulations would have made some dramatic changes to his personality."

"What type of changes?" Bulma eyed the doctor carefully. He'd better not be giving her a load of crap, especially not when it came to her husband.

"Well, Mrs. Briefs, I don't want to...judge...your relationship, but tell me, is your husband rather short tempered? Easily irritable? Does he suffer from delusions of Grandure? Believe he must be the best there is at whatever he does and will dedicate his entire being to becoming more powerful if he percieves someone has surpassed him?"

Bulma nodded, her eyes wide. "My god, that's Vegeta to a T!"

"Not really, that was the arachnid. You're probably going to find yourself dealing with a much different man from here on out. He'll be more patient, less obsessed, a better husband and father as well."

Bulma stared at the doctor, needing a few minutes to absorb what the doctor was telling her. Visions of a calm, peaceful, Vegeta began filling her mind. A Vegeta that actually spent time with her instead of just hopping in for a quick boff and then back to the gravity center. A Vegeta that might not toss a baby fit every time she wanted to go somewhere that didn't involve people fighting. A Vegeta that could get along with Goku. It was a dream come true. "My God, Doctor, I don't like to see Vegeta suffer, but I'm really glad this happened, so we could fix him!"

The doctor smiled and patted her hand. "I thought you might be pleased. But, I did want to warn you, because the personality changes will be drastic." He rose from the chair, and was about to walk off when Bulma took his arm.

"Doctor, I just have one question."

"Oh?" He paused.

"How did this creature get inside of him? Did he accidentally injest it or something?" She had to know so she could avoid this ever happening in the future.

"Err," The doctor's face flushed red. "Well, actually, we believe the creature enters the body through the rectum."

Bulma's eyes widened. "So in other words, Vegeta's problems all stem from the fact that he had a bug up his ass?"

Comments

"Yup," Joey nodded. "I was finally able to beat Seto, simply by flipping the bird."

*laughter*

*g* Yeah, I rather liked that. I was going to try to create that card as a joke for the girl we know that plays the card game all the time.
Cute! ^_^ *now has da giggles* That explains so much about Vegeta. ^_~
*g* I actually thought about that one quite awhile ago, but never got around to writing it. But the man is the poster child for, "I've got a bug up my ass!"
OMG, it so about time someone flipped Seto the bird - ROTFLMAO.

And something is just blocking me from believing that Vegeta would ever eat cream of wheat. Even he isn't THAT tough. But the bug up his ass - that's classic. *Envisions the new Vegeta eating pasta salad while listening to a motivational cassette tape and reading a book on fatherhood*
And Joey is just the man to flip Seto the bird.


And something is just blocking me from believing that Vegeta would ever eat cream of wheat. Even he isn't THAT tough. But the bug up his ass - that's classic. *Envisions the new Vegeta eating pasta salad while listening to a motivational cassette tape and reading a book on fatherhood*

The Cream Of Wheat was thrown in for effect. I said to myself, "What would Vegeta never in a million years eat for breakfast! Eureka, CREAM OF WHEAT!"

Also, my grandma used to give that to us when we'd been sick and could finally start eating solids again. So, I figured Bulma was making him eat it cause he'd been complaining about tummy aches.
*Envisions the new Vegeta eating pasta salad while listening to a motivational cassette tape and reading a book on fatherhood*

...Dude! If you know your Richard Jeni (short sidekick-tpye guy from Jim Carrey's "The Mask"), I have reason to believe that Vegeta lives in Los Angeles!